You know that moment when life changes. The path you had planned out alters in ways that you did not contemplate. Or foresee. The future you envisioned disappears from your vision. Your goals now feel as though they are no longer a possibility. Then all that emotion shows up… when anger takes over. You’re gripped tightly, set ablaze, and burning so intensely that you only feel that all-consuming anger. This acts as a powerful catalyst for your reactions…and you struggle to see a way out.
What do you do now, when anger takes over?
There are three fundamental steps to take when you feel anger in all its glory. The first two are interchangeable and will either lead you to the third or prevent you from ever reaching the third. If you are here, reading this post (however you found it) you are ready for all three steps. I know it and you do too.
Allow yourself to grieve.
When these shifts in the pathway of our lives show up, we are essentially losing a future we thought we would have. Yet, when we are in that moment, being aware that we are experiencing grief can be a challenge. Often, we are so consumed in the frustration and anger that we do not acknowledge there is more or different emotions beneath the surface. Anger is one potent emotion and finding what is underneath will require you to act.
You have to be the one to make the choice.
Only you have the power to change your emotions and reactions. You have to choose to allow yourself to feel them, to move through them, and eventually move beyond them. Don’t allow yourself to stuff them down deep or to be pushed aside by shame. Emotions are essential. They are healthy when expressed safely and they allow us to release and let go. It’s when we linger there and fail to heal or grow which leads to unhealthy toxic emotional environments.
Those tricky thoughts we have also play a major role in how we handle these situations. It’s easy to think that you have been abandoned. That you have no support. What you want or wanted isn’t important. It’s easy to believe that your dreams don’t matter. Or to think, “what is the use” or “why even bother?”. If you find yourself in this moment of life, pay attention to your thoughts. Choose to do the work to stop them and then change them. You will find that your thoughts drive your emotions.
You GET to do the work.
What a privilege we have, what a blessing it is, to be able to change. To heal and become a healthier version of ourselves. Still us, but in a more positive atmosphere. I have to say though, that this step, can be one of the most challenging. When you are stuck in anger it feels as though you have some control. You have reacted. Taken a stance. Letting go of that perception of power is hard. You may feel weak or broken, but let’s change the narrative here.
What does letting your anger go mean?
It means allowing your body to submit to your soul. Both have been given to us. One is chemical, biological, and mechanical. While the other is our spiritual center, who we were created to be in the purest form, and filled with divine love.
As mortals, we are allowed our emotions. But we must move below them to find the deep divinely given love that our Savior had…for it is within us too. It is through this love that we must see ourselves, do the work to let go and to mend our grief.